Anonymous asked: tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image

unclefather:

I don’t really eat ass. It’s a metaphor. You put it in your mouth but you don’t let it kill you.

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

(Source: howtobeaheartbreaker)

deadlysick:

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

fartgallery:

that person you just called a nerd? they are a giant nerd. you made a good call on that one

(Source: popstronomy)

Trophy- Future feat. Kanye West

I am cackling.

officialwhitegirls:

people who think they’re funny for interrupting the teacher every 2 seconds during a lesson must be eliminated

(Source: nentindo)

kawrying:

so its 2:17 am and my window is open and i burped really loudly and i heard someone yell “what the fuck”

(Source: nicesato)

brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

maximumbuttitude:

jaa-ne:

I would be a little bit terrified

you are now entering the Bonus Level

maximumbuttitude:

jaa-ne:

I would be a little bit terrified

you are now entering the Bonus Level

(Source: picapixels)

luciid-dr3ams:

Want this shirt.

luciid-dr3ams:

Want this shirt.